click on the novel titles for more details

1. Sense and Sensibility (1811)
2. Pride and Prejudice (1813)
3. Mansfield Park (1814)
4. Emma (1815)
5. Northanger Abbey (1817) (posthumous)
6. Persuasion (1817) (posthumous)

Of the above 6, I would have only read the 1st 2. After having watched the movies, I have decided that Jane Austen shall be a companion in my bag till I have finished the next 4. She wrote about love. I would say its rather controversial for a writer of her times. Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice were great novels. The movie really intrigues you to go and read the novels if you haven’t already done so and it’s not just a girly thing.

» Click here to find out more about Jane Austen
» Click here to find our more about “The Jane Austen Book Club” movie

Here’s the movie trailer to whet your Jane Austen’s novels appetite:

If you are a romantic comedy fan or a Drew Barrymore or Hugh Grant fan, you would have watch this recent movie – Music & Lyrics. I am the 1st. I have of course, watched this, twice and has bought the dvd for keepsake.

Violet, wrote in her on her views in this particular dialogue that happened in the movie:

Sophie Fisher: A melody is like seeing someone for the first time. The physical attraction. Sex.
Alex Fletcher: I so get that.
Sophie Fisher: But then, as you get to know the person, that’s the lyrics. Their story. Who they are underneath. It’s the combination of the two that makes it magic.

I will say I definitely agree with Sophie Fisher and Violet, in this case. That music and lyrics are the soul and the neccessity of a song. With either, its just not alive.

And as what Violet has wrote:

And as humans, we are quick to make first impressions. If the ‘music’ is not right, we are quick to write off the song immediately.

I have begun to realize that Drew Barrymore is right. Music without beautiful lyrics just does not cut it for me anymore. A song can never be truly unforgettable unless the lyrics have touched my soul. And often, I am attracted to a song not for its music, but because of its inspiring, enduring and uplifting lyrics.

Music first? Or lyrics first?

Choose wisely

I totally agree with Violet! *hands and legs all up in the air!!!* Personally, I am one who gets attracted to the music at 1st, and then the lyrics. But if the lyrics don’t make the cut, no matter how good the music is, it doesn’t stay in my playlist. And for that matter, language is the world to me. If I were to choose, it’s definitely lyrics 1st for me…and if you wonder, I will think that for most song composers, the lyrics do come 1st.

In a bid to shop for a meaningful birthday present for my “potential-other-half” who is still jamming in a band, I have been revisiting my good old “music and lyrics” days and shops. I used to be in the school band, a principal player for the cornet/trumpet and I love to go jamming sessions with my friends. 1 of the top 5 thing that I cannot live without – music!

I remember the times when we hang out at the music shops, think long time ago plaza singapura, parklane shopping mall, jamming studios, my school’s band room, etc. The days when we create and play music. And then my thoughts formed a sort of a haiku as I saw this old couple holding hands in the music shop…

One is the drumset and the other is the drumstick,
One is the guitar and the other is the picker,
One is the cello and the other is the bow,
One is the keyboard and the other is the hand,
One is the music and the other is the lyrics.

Right there, that’s it. I wanted to be one of them with the other, shopping in the music shop, sharing the same interest, playing music and lyrics. As I stopped at the last sentence at my sort of haiku, I recalled the movie Music and Lyrics! Ahh….

And then later in the night as I was checking my email, there it was – Violet, blogging about the movie Music & Lyrics. Is it a sign? I take that as a yes.

P.S.: Enjoy this song, Way Back Into Love, by Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore, from the original sound track from the movie, Music & Lyrics. May you find your music or lyrics soon.

Coming home today on bus 961 was really…what should I call that? Mmm…love-inspiring? There they were, 2 young couples, on the squeezy bus, right in front of me, 1 couple in front of the other and both couples has the same thing in common. Interesting!

Both girlfriends were seated down while the boyfriend are standing just beside them, partly no seats, partly to protect them from the many people squeezing by the walking lane. And both boyfriends has the exact same body language. They were both slanted to one side towards the girlfriend, and fiddling with the girlfriend’s hair, massaging the neck and both girlfriends were lying on the respective boyfriend’s arms. Although the couple nearer to me is significantly the more chatty pair.

When you are in love you are in love. The beingness change. What is beingness? Dictionary.com say: “the state or fact of existing” So there I was, on the bus, listening to my mp3 that is playing songs randomly and just at the moment when LeAnn Rimmes – But I Do Love You, came on…and my thoughts wonder.

I am in love! Or at least for the past couple of months. It’s been quite some time since I have felt butterflies in my stomach or at least be serious about seeing someone or even smile when I receive a sms. Well, technically, I am very much being in love right now…all together now…awww….

I think it’s a very pretty thing, love. To be in love, it’s just got to be me. I am in love with you, I am in love blah blah blah. Being in love, doesn’t need the other party to clap and say yes! Being in love is simply you, being in love. This beingness alters what happens around you. And this beingness attracts the very thing you want. e.g.: If I am being negative about a relationship, all I will get will be negativity. Just being positive or just being in love, I will be attracting love, in 1 way or another. More on that later…

Back to being in love…I braced up my courage about a month back, and told that guy clearly that I am interested in him (just a bit of background, I don’t really know him, he is a friend’s cousin and we have not even officially speak to each other yet and I am the one who made the 1st move). And I left is as that. Today, I asked him if he is in anyway interested to know me more and he said, yes, why not. That’s a good sign.

Regardless, I am still in love and will continue to be, or at least being in love. I feel sweet after a hard day’s work especially work is really crazy these days and I feel pretty and confident. Being in love made me feel like a woman! hahaha. Not the tough one at work, just like the girlfriends on the bus. I will be saying good morning to him tomorrow cos I want to and I love to. So till the next, ladies, be in love and be being in love!

P.S.: I dedicate this song from the original soundtrack of Coyote Ugly “But I Do Love You” by LeAnn Rimmes to love and all B.A.B. Girls out there!

My sis-in-law was on a winning streak for Chinese New Year and much credit was given to the unborn Amelia until Sunday when she start losing…we got a hunch that Amelia’s wanting to see the world soon! So that’s how the superstition way of saying it…but actually, here’s how the scientific way goes… In my previous post, I mentioned that I received a phone call from my brother, announcing the good news. I had a phone call too this afternoon. Here’s how the phone call goes:

I returned a miss call to my brother during lunch…
Alan: Where are you?
Me: At work lah, lunch, where else?
Alan: hehe…orh…ok lor
Me: Something not wrong, Junyi give birth already is it?!
Alan: Haha, now going in lor…
Me: Ok, sms me or call me when Amelia is out!
Alan: Ok…
Then followed by a few smses with my sis-in-law. At 2pm, her cervix has opened about 4cm. Then at 3.50pm…
Alan: Come out already!
Me: Huh? Really? So fast?!
Alan: Yah lor, this time very fast. “Blop” and the baby is out!
Me: Ok. I will go visit later today. (I then happily announce to the world that my 2nd niece has arrived on earth!)

Its always very happy for me to receive such happy news. I am literally another 大姑. Being a 大姑 literally means BIG aunt for me. I like the way my brother teases me for being the literally BIG aunt. Its fun. So long as the kiddos don’t follow that. 2 nieces! ah…time to play dress up! Yeah! It’s Chinese New Year…kinda Monday blues…but with this happy news, I bet I won’t have Monday blues for…well, at least a week!

I take this chance to introduce to the world my 1st niece, Alegria. See how she has grown! She’s kinda impish now but she is really cute and she has the strength of a “bull”! She’s about 18 months now and she can literally push a stack of 6 plastic chairs along and around the living room. ahahha. See how cute she is in this animated multi-shot of her.

Working late is usual for me…and what accompanies me through the usual late nights is none other than the very faithful radio. Gold90 is usually my choice but once in a while, I don’t mind Singapore’s only class…Class95. And this one night, I made a dedication for the CCKSS Alumni on Yaz’s Love Songs…and I heard her say…

…People say 1st kiss always leave a tingle…

That’s it! That’s all it takes for the memories to come rushing back. I finally distinguished why am I not a fan of kissing ever since….

It was during my 1st kiss with my ex-boyfriend. After hanging out at his place for some videos and snacks, we were parting goodbye when he “decided” that he would like to have our first kiss at the void deck. So here we go…and EEEWWWWW!!!! Much as I would like to stop it, I carried on with the kiss “unpassionately”, but enough to not let him know I wanna stop. At that point of time, the only thing that was going through my mind was:

Argh!!! Why did he kiss me?! All I can taste is the Pizza-flavoured Pringles! It’s eeewwww!!!!

So much for tingles at 1st kisses…I am very sure my tingles did not come and instead, I got LOADS of PRINGLES! Little wonder why I did not really fancy the pizza-flavoured pringles ever since….

In dictionary.com, connection has this definition: state of being connected or related..

I will say that the dictionary’s not wrong! What’s so surprising about that? I was not. I have been meaning to write this post for very long…and I apologise for not updating my blog for almost 2 months now. I have been busy with cckssalumni.sg.

Being a fan of photography, I have my camera with me most of the time, except times when I am forgetful or my camera needs to recharge. Otherwise, it will be by side and I will be snapping away at things or scenes or people who interests me. Looking at my the photos I have taken so far, I came to realise that I have an eye for people who are in connection. And it’s kinda amazing…

Have you ever wondered…how can 2 person be connected in any way? If you are married, how did you get connected to your other half in the 1st place? Friends, family, colleagues…how did it all happen? I find this a very beautiful mystery. You can be at 1 place or with 1 person and don’t feel connected at all. And this is what makes people upset. Not feeling connected…

The image below shows a few kinds of connection. I have deliberately converted them to black and white pictures as in this manner, the details will show more clearly…

1. A very loving couple who just got married recently, dancing at a Valentine’s Day event that I organised in 2004.
2. A couple sitting on the breakwater of Pulau Ubin, enjoying the breeze and scenery. I don’t even know them at all but yet, I felt their connection and love for each other.
3. Prior to reaching Pulau Ubin, I saw this uncle and auntie sitting under the tree. Although their body language says different to connection but it maybe otherwise.
4. My good friend, Jannis…hugging her boyfriend while at sleep on our tour to Cameron Highlands.
5. This is the parents of a good friend. I have been touched by them on a couple of occassions. Although married for at least 27 years but they are still very connected. The love they have for each other, may not be the romantic kind, but its definitely the kind that we can’t decipher but only see and feel.
6. This is a very sweet photo that I took while organising a dinner cum dance event for SDU. 2 complete strangers who hit it off and get to know each other over a dinner, has this little shy connection while holding each other’s hand while at the dance.
7. I saw this couple spacing out at the river bank at clarke quay. They were not speaking but simply holding each other in their arms…
8. I love this photo which I took recently while at East Coast Park. They are 2 of my best friends who recently got married. They were flying kite when I took this photo. Somehow, it may be just kite flying, but at that moment, something connected, just like me and this scene

Have you ever thought of that moment when you connected with someone? That moment of connection. I do, I always do cos I appreciate all these moments. They are good moments…

After 9 months of pregnancy, my sister-in-law, Jinyi, has gone through a pretty smooth labour to give birth to Alegria, a baby girl weighing 3.42kg on 08 Aug 2006, 1312, despite the fact that everyone has been yakking to Jinyi to give birth to Alegria on 09 Aug (Singapore’s National Day) instead. Hahah. Guess when it got to come, it got to come.

When I paid Jinyi a visit at KK hospital yesterday, I recalled the very day my kid brother, Alan, called me to deliver the news of Jinyi’s pregnancy…

(In Mandarin)

Handphone rings….

Me: Hello…

Alan: Sis, you are going to be a 大姑 already!!!

Me: Huh???????

Alan: Sis, you are going to be a 大姑 already!!!

Me: 大姑???????

Alan: Yes!

Me: ?????

Alan: Aiyo…Jinyi’s pregnant!

Me: Orh…!!!!

That was my concept of being a 大姑…aka not knowing what that even meant for me! Haha. I never thought that would come so soon. My brother has always been a KID brother to me. Note the word: KID. I mean, he’s only 22 years old this year. They got married 2 years ago, after almost 9 years of courtship. Which is pretty amazing! I always felt sweet. Till now that they are both parents, I can still remember the time when they were both 8 years old, in the same school and Jinyi coming to ask me if I am Alan’s sister (her motive: to find out more about my brother). I mean…this is SWEET!

I am thrilled that we have a new addition in our family. Alan has really grown up now. Memories of him running around in pampers, sucking on milk bottles, me buying toys for him, me eating up whatever he refused to eat…haha..and many more of such, are stored up in a special place in my heart now. Alan is a father and I am very sure that my KID brother, although a little bit “bengish” will be a great father.

As for me, I am all prepared to be a great 大姑 too!! And of course, a great sister to my KID brother, always…

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY, SINGAPORE!!!

I came to this world 26 years ago. He came to this world 51 years ago. I hardly knew him. He was someone whom I had once looked up to, someone who gave me life, someone who had loved me, someone whom I had loved…someone who had passed on this June 21st. He was someone I called Dad. HE was MY DAD…

1. ^{He drank Guiness Stout and sniffed that green colour medicated oil. It smelt nice.}
2. ^{He worked as a Crane Operator for as long as I can remember. Thus, he got this real dark tan.}
3. ^{He used to work as a chef on board a ship long time ago.}
4. ^{He limped due to a motorbike accident long time ago. I don’t recall when was that.}
5. ^{He talked very little and had a weird sense of humour.}
6. ^{He gave us our pocket money, including Mum’s.}
7. ^{He was an M.C.P., never allowed Mum to go out and work but Mum always had her ways.}
8. ^{He loved Mum although they were always quarrelling.}
9. ^{He had a corner in our big living room where his table was and that’s where we pick up our pocket money.}
10. ^{He used to buy us supper very frequently when I was a few years old and durians.}
11. ^{He was one of the 4 guys whom I have been on a motorbike with. I must have been younger than 10 years old then.}
12. ^{He played mahjong on weekend with his friends at their place.}
13. ^{He never allows us to eat food with preservatives such as hot dogs, crabsticks, etc. He always make a fuss whenever he caught us eating those.}
14. ^{He was a charmer in his younger days, so said Mum. I thought he was…all along.}
15. ^{He was someone whom I hate at around 6pm almost everyday when I was like 5 years old onwards. Cos he will, at the cartoon primetime, summon me into the kitchen to watch and learn him cook.}
16. ^{He was someone whom I had to thank for my wonderful cooking skills.}
17. ^{He was very method in the kitchen, like a real chef, as compared to Mum who is “All-In”.}
18. ^{He was the only one whom I ever saw flipping a whole wok of fried rice and none fell out of place.}
19. ^{He had 15 other siblings.}
20. ^{He had a daughter and 2 sons, one of which really resembled him.}
21. ^{He was someone whom me and my best friend had played a prank on before when I was 15 by frying him a plate of very, very, very hot fried rice and he ate it all up with no complains or scoldings.}
22. ^{He was the only one who has every asked me: “Do you know why do we have to fry the egg first?”.}
23. ^{He was someone whom had a lot of photos taken but yet, I have none! I had to search through my mum’s stacked away boxes for this marriage photo. I don’t even have a complete family photo.}

My memories of my Dad has never been any fader. I realised for a couple of years now that I kept repeating certain memories that I had cherished between us. Memories that I longed to relive, memories that are no longer present when hate consumed it 10 years ago when my parents divorced, when he had a new family, when he abandoned me.

For 10 years, I have been hating my Dad, he has destroyed everything I ever had in life – a family, my brothers, my life. I just don’t want to have anything to with him at all although I am very sure that I have everything to do with him. The only time I ever saw him in these 10 years were when:

Year 2000: I bumped into him at Upper Thomson, when I met a colleague to have a Sunday breakfast at a dim sum restuarant there. A place our family used to frequent every Sunday since I was like 10 years old. When I saw him, it was a very awkard moment. After he walked on, with his son (my step-brother), I can’t help but turn and look at him from behind. He had aged alot. His hair was white. I cried.

Year 2005: The funeral of my Grandfather. He had aged again. I was only at the funeral for 10 minutes. My Dad helped me to pin the mourning piece on me. The same year, my Mum told me that my Dad had contracted Nose Cancer. I did not have the courage to care for him. My Mum can’t talk me round. I was very stubborn.

Year 2006: Mum called to say that Dad was hospitalised. I had arranged with my Mum to go visit him after work. I fell sick with a bad flu and high fever, will not be able to get into the hospital. By the time, I was well, he was discharged. I came to recognise that this kind of act is called a clearing.

At the same year on June 21st, I saw him, on his deathbed…Why didn’t I tell him that I was able to forgive him which I did, I just did not wanted to admit it! After a course I had gone to, I told my mum I love her. Why didn’t I, then, have the courage to tell that to my dad? I almost fainted on that very day. I was lost. He was gone. For the next couple of days, there was no strength. Tears flow everytime I went to talk to him at the funeral. It was only until the 3rd day of the funeral that I cleared everything with him that I felt better. It may sound eerie to some but not to me, HE was MY DAD…the man who gave me life…

A couple of months back, while attending a course, I got the privilege to get to know 2 Indian friends. Interestingly, as the usual inquisitive me, I found out something very contrasting yet so similar in the conversations that we had. Here’s how it goes…

Friend A: “I just got married. My husband is great but I am still shy around him. When I have some women’s problem, I feel embarrassed to tell him or to talk to him.”

Me: “Why not? He’s already your husband?!”

Friend B: “Yah. Why not? I tell my boyfriend everything. The relationship with him is something that I have never experienced with anybody else. We just had such a great relationship.”

Friend A: “Mmm, I don’t know. He has been asking me to talk to him and he is getting very concerned about me not sharing everything with him.”

Me: “How long have you been married?”

Friend A: “About 3 months now. We just came to Singapore.”

Me: “So how did you get to know each other?”

Friend A: “It’s an arranged marriage.”

Me: “What?! An arranged marriage?! You mean you still practise this in India?”

Friend B: “Yah. Until now. We leave the marriage in the hands of our parents to find someone of the equal social status.”

Me: “Really?! Mmm…So, Friend B, was yours arranged too?”

Friend B: “Nah…I met my boyfriend while in school here. We are really great. I have told my parents that he is the one for me.”

Me: “So, Friend A, you love your husband?”

Friend A: “Ok. He’s great to me and he loves me alot.”

——— Conversation ended as the class started —————-

This conversation left me with something that is so powerful that until today, it’s still very vivid how exactly I felt at that moment. I met Friend A today and is glad to be introduced to her husband while Friend B’s boyfriend is now 15 hours away in USA on attachment. The thing is…there is a lot of love around us. Some may have an arranged marriage where they may or will probably try to find love after that while others may have the liberty to choose who they want to be with. In any case, be it arranged or not, love is embedded somewhere. It’s a lot of fate for 2 person to meet. More so when it’s an arranged marriage when you were never the one in the source of it. You never state to your parent who you want. They pick the guy for you and after that you will have to live or to deal with it. Or when 2 India Indians meet in Singapore and not in India.

I was amazed that 2 friends were talking about great love when both are in such different context – an arranged marriage and a freely chosen relationship. And there I was right in the centre of it all, with no attachment to anyone special at that moment…

LOVE IS IN THE AIR. Did you realise it? Or am I the only one? Singles around me (mostly around my age) are pretty much in the dating game, myself included. Friends are getting married, looking for flats, dieting for their gowns??! Oh, did I mention I am going to be 26?Nevertheless, after a night course that my boss had sponsored me, I was on the bus home when I couldn’t help but reminisce this one time when I came so close to MY PERFECT LOVE FANTASY…and that was when everything was so beautiful…I am very glad to say that I have had at least once of such beauty in my life.

BEAUTY WAS WHEN…

1. ^{…he gave me 2 friendly cheek pecks on my birthday. He is a French.}
2. ^{…he greeted everyone in the morning and with a mega watt smile.}
3. ^{…he looked absolutely cute and va-va-voom when he was trying to brush off a cockroach (something that really irks the life out of me) that had fallen onto him.}
4. ^{…he made ridiculous beep-whistle like the car horns, mimicking the road taxis and I thought that was impressive.}
5. ^{…he looked so innocent when he bit his fingers.}
6. ^{…Why aren’t every man like him? Ladies first…}
7. ^{…he smelled so fresh when he just stepped out of his bath and can the boxers get any cuter? An explicit beauty.}
8. ^{…he went looking for me all over the beach.}
9. …there’s no shame when you stand in front of him in a bikini, irregardless of the wobbly bits.
10. ^{…he asked “Are you ok?” on multiple occassions like when the silly me got hit by the surfboard or the crashing waves.}
11. …we took a bare-footed stroll along the longest beach I have ever been on in my life, basking in the sunset, soaking in the breeze, chatting under the sky.
12. …we just stood for at least 15mins, side by side, hearing each other’s breath, not speaking a single word, no physical contact, simply just enjoying the view of the magnificient sunset.
13. ^{…we ended the day with a romantic dinner at the restuarant.}
14. ^{…we could dance with each other as if no one is watching. Ahh…those smooth moves….}
15. ^{…I saw him all ruffled up in the morning.}
16. …I had to go to somewhere else in an unfamiliar place to settle some of our problems and I did not managed to get back in time, as I promised, and he looking all panicky and almost calling the cops and hugging me the moment he saw me!
17. ^{…he sleeps.}
18. ^{…he commanded: “No, No, let me!”, that I stop doing the menial stuff and let him be the man! Go ahead, soldier!!}
19. …he shouted: “Hold me! Hold me!” while I was pillion riding on our 1st jet-ski ride.
20. ^{…he hugged me close while he was pillion riding on our 1st jet-ski ride.}
21. ^{…we both enjoyed good food and company and can talk about everything.}
22. ^{…we explored limits and did a lot of 1st times together – canoe, jetski, surfing…}
23. ^{…we are both sad that it’s all going to end.}
24. …he hugged me for the longest time I can remember in the cab before we parted to go home and he forgot to take his luggage after that. Hahah
25. ^{…I have to send him off to the airport and he hugged me yet again.}
26. ^{…he was so touched when he received his very 1st hand-made pictorial book gift from me.}
27. ^{…the departure hug was really long and suffering.}
28. …I shed my 1st tear while saying goodbye and staining his t-shirt.

…………………. Need I Say More????