I was shocked! Donate?! What good does a tooth do? It’s not like a bag of rice or blood or…? Then the dentist proceed to explain further. She said that her friend is on some research work that involves the teeth and allow the blind to see again with the aid of the teeth. Well, right after extraction and 6 spots of Local Anaesthetic, that’s as much as I can register. But of course, I did not reject her.

Very intrigued, I came back and start googling for information and there it is – “TOOTH-IN-EYE (OOKP) Surgery”.

Click on image for a bigger view
Extracted from The Sunday Times, 24 August 2004

OOKP is a complex 2-stage operation which aims to restore vision to the most severe cases of corneal and ocular surface patients for whom all previous attempts to restore vision had failed. The procedure involves removing a canine tooth from the patient, shaping and drilling it to allow implantation of an artificial plastic corneal device (optical cylinder), and ultimately implanting it back into one eye a few months later.

The 1st successful case was reported in July 2004. Interesting, very interesting. Here are some links where you can read more of “TOOTH-IN-EYE”.

» Click here to read more of Tooth In Eye from National Dental Centre
» Click here to read more of Tooth In Eye from Channel News Asia

So the next time you go for any teeth extraction, remember – Donate Your Teeth so That They Can See….

According to dictionary.com, Remnants =

1. Something left over; a remainder.
2. A piece of fabric remaining after the rest has been used or sold.
3. A surviving trace or vestige: a remnant of his past glory.
4. A small surviving group of people. Often used in the plural.

I guess in one’s life, there’s always remnants…that little bit of left over from the past, or a surviving trace of that memory bit. While randomly going through the remnants of my past, what seems like almost forgotten memories and traces began to form its full picture when I start to piece the remnants together.

There is a window period of 3 years, 1998 – 2001, in my life that seems almost non-existence to me. So much has happened in these 3 years – good and bad. I had also had friends that I have totally lost touch with. Friends from Yishun Junior College and Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts. I remember the remnants….

At Yishun Junior College

• I played truant for the 1st time in my life and many times thereafter.
• I faked MCs, my best record – from 1 day to 14 days by adding 3 strokes.
• I go to class occassionally.
• I even participated in the band.
• I sucked at C Maths and I remembered clearly there were always kind friends who are there to help.
• I loathe PE lessons and I remembered clearly there was always someone jogging with me.
• I only remembered 2 names, of classmates who were not from the same Secondary School – Sarah, Ryan…which I have tried searching for on Friendster but to no avail.
• I quit after 6 months.
• I even sat for my mid term paper before quitting. I do not know what’s my results but I am sure I flunked my C Maths.

At Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts

• I was exhilarated after finally starting school at NAFA after a year of $ saving.
• I loved all the basic foundation classes, never skip school, at least for the 1st term.
• I worked night shift at Seagate after the 1st term, I started to skip some classes.
• I was great with colour studies, marker colouring, visual studies and art history.
• I was really bad at sculpture, still life drawing and airbrush.
• I remembered some very helpful friends – Kevin, Sam, Simon, Rachel, Elaine, Renee, Remy, Claire, Zoelyn, Nur, especially Kevin who always stay behind to help me with my sculpturing work.
• My clothes were always splattered with either clay or colours at the end of the day.
• It was the 1st time I spent 3 days 3 nights trying to finish a colour piece for my 1st year project. Zoelyn and I were at Sam’s place in Hougang. Stoned.
• I learnt pool from Rachel, a very funky gal who could clear the table with 1 shot and Elaine as well.
• We hanged out together most of the time and get free booze at the then Samsara where Rachel worked.
• It was then that I tried drinking a lot and hardly get drunk.
• I also get to hang out with a group of bisexuals and lesbians. They are great fun to be with.
• I stayed over at friends’ places very often and for some long time at Zoelyn’s at Serangoon and Claire’s place at Bedok.
• Remy, the class monitoress, helped me a great deal.
• On the day of the 1st year project presentation, I almost could not participate due to late school fee payment. I had to run down to the school’s admin office and was lucky they gave me grace.
• I passed my 1st year and got my place in Diploma in Interior Design for my 2nd year.
• I quit after the 1st year due to $ issue.
• I got back in touch with Elaine recently through Friendster and am still searching for whoever I can remember….

Remnants,
A part of life that is always encrusted somewhere.
An important aspect of memory,
The surviving bits of your past,
The mystery to solving a jigsaw.

I have a pet game. 2 game that I love to play with my friends. Those of you who may be reading this, I bet you are smiling now…I love to play…On a scale of 1 – 10….see, I bet I must have made enough lists to play this kind of game. Its not difficult to answer my scale question, it simplifies things and it helps you make lists. The 2nd game is 1 that can be played anytime with any topic. Let’s call that “The Carry On” game…my friends are mainly irritated whenever I suggested such game. Let’s play “The Carry On” game with fruits…durians, oranges, promegranate, papaya, apple, pineapple, grapes, apple…blah blah blah…

More often than not, these friends, are also the friends who can hardly remember my likes and dislikes. In a bid to make them have something to refer to or simply for the sake that my birthday is just round the corner….there you go, my list of likes and dislikes….

What I Like?

• Iced Milo, lately lychee tea
• Steamboat, love it piping hot and I eat what I cook, right out of the heat
• Company of my friends
• Movies and music, can’t live without them. Couch potato and earphone blaster
• More music – jazz, rock, pop, R&B, hip hop, musical, instrumental, you name it. Just no techno and trance.
• Sotong aka squid
• Colours – favourites got to go to white and blue. But my favourites are not far from the other rest like pink, orange, red, green, yellow, purple…not a big fan of black
• Being an entrepeneur. The kind of satisfaction I get from clients. The kind of business dreams I can fulfill.
• Photography. I believe moments needs to be captured. You can never relive them.
• Travel. If I was younger and slimmer, I am pretty alright. hahaha…I will no give up the chance to be an air stewardess. I want to see the world and soak it in!
• Europe, yes, london, paris…I love the sun but I think I will love the cold grey skies as well.
• Idle and sleep. Don’t you love that?!
• Writing. I love writing. Unstoppable if I start. I used to be great at compos. That explains the blog now, eh?
• Life. Well, life may suck at times but it’s so beautiful yet at the same time. Every moment counts, live it well.
• Sex, yes! make it hot and wild! hahaha
• Hugs
• Dogs
• Furniture. I almost became an interior designer if it’s not because of finances. Well, I am not too far off now. I love to redecorate my house and rearrange my furniture from time to time.
• Cooking. I was trained! Hahah, by my dad who used to a sailing chef. My love for food doesn’t stop at eating.
• Gatherings. Chalets, BBQ, picnic, weddings, you name it.
• Being an emcee, especially at weddings. I just find it so romantic and fulfilling, especially so when its just like sending well wishes.
• Peas and legumes, porridge and soups, mushrooms and more mushrooms!
• Guys’ perfumes, that’s exactly the reason for its existence.
• Jigsaw puzzle, i love solving them.
• Sun, sand and sea
• Water games, ball games, board games especially MONOPOLY, english chess, mahjong!!!
• english tea
• dancing! yes, it’s D-A-N-C-I-N-G!
• Being in love
• my family and reminiscing the lost ones
• being casual or dressing up
• money, of course
• and many more….now, that’s for you to find out…

What I Dislike?

Yes, I do have things I don’t like and yes, even in food! duh!

• Bringal, lady’s finger, carrots…
• Salty stuff, potato chips included unless they are otherwise flavoured
• hot drinks except english tea and milo
• people, who anyhow touch my stuff
• unorganized – i NEED to know where my stuff are so do not anyhow touch, hahah
• not laughing or crying in the movie, when its just meant to…yeah, I am a sucker
• sweaty…unless….
• being woken up from my sleep suddenly. I REALLY HATE THIS!
• Being depressed
• Not meeting my friends for a long time
• friends forgetting my birthday! hahaha…yes, i don’t like it but it does happen
• friends not wanting to play monopoly with me
• broke…
• being forced to exercise or doing things that I don’t like
• being nagged at
• mmm…alright, not as long as the like list, let me explore it a bit more…

Haha, that’s all, folks! Now, you can go mull on my birthday pressie!

Day 1, Wednesday

I was at lunch and there were 3 ladies sharing the same table. It was crowded. There I was enjoying my Teochew porridge…while 1 of the lady was literally bitching non-stop at her other colleague about another colleague at work. She was REALLY NON-STOP! OMG. 1 of them was obviously entertaining her with short remarks while the other, like me, simply enjoying the Teochew porridge. I am just lucky that whatever I am putting into my mouth is so nice that whatever that is going through my ears are amusing, than annoying. Happy that she is not my colleague or anyone I know.

On the way back to the office, I saw 2 ladies giving out beauty pamphlets at a construction site. That’s weird and not smart. After crossing the traffic lights, I saw this lady in very high fashion wear, of the seasons. Very nice. Just a metre along the shaded pavement, there was another lady in high fashion wanna be went wrong! Interesting road. Colourful.

My boss has always said that I should not be reading too much 8 days and should be reading more valuable books. NO WAY! 8 days is like “the book”. In it, apart from entertainment, there are valuable information presented in a light hearted manner, just what I need after a day of heavy brain use. Colin Goh and Jason Hahn’s articles are not to be missed!

At night, I bought my 1 year 10 months old niece to watch Kungfu Panda. Although she was too young to understand the movie but she was paying due attention to the screen apart from her Pocky biscuits when the scene has higher volume or when the music comes on or when everyone was laughing, not to mention special attention was definitely paid when she was kicking the poor guy’s chair in front of us and eventually poured some mineral water over him. Oops. When everyone stream out of the theatre at the end, she was there waiving goodbye to EVERYONE! Interesting and intriguing little thing, kids….

While on the way back home with my mum, we were recapping the moments from Kungfu Panda. We had a good hearty laugh comparing my mum climbing up my 4 storey office vs Po, the panda, climbing up the many flights of stairs to the temple. Hahaha….panda-ingly painful yet funny!

Day 2, Thursday

For a couple of days, I forgot to pass my boss the resignation letter that my staff had given me although it was already known to my boss her last day. As I was urgent for the toilet, I just told my boss, “forgot to give you this” and I proceeded to walk quickly to the toilet and there she was, “what is this, why are you leaving me in the lurch like this? I cannot accept this.” I was like…”it’s not me, look at the name…” and she was like “ooh…” Mmm….resignation letter…. 

My mum called me when I wanted to call her. We arranged to meet to have dinner. While on my way to dinner, I heard the news on the cab, FM 95.8. Someone has to give up his 10+ years of chicken rearing business as the chicken feed has gone so steep in price! 2 years ago, it was $3/kg, a year ago it was $5/kg and this year its $12/kg! What has the world become to?! That someone had to let all his chicken go live in the wild, all 10 thousand odd of them….imagine, chickens in your park…

The same news. A research company did a research about woman’s cervix cancer. Results show that 70% of the women interviewed did not know that cervix cancer did not develop because of sex and the same 70% thought that having sex with condoms will prevent that. I do not know the cause of cervix cancer but I sure know that sex and condoms ain’t got anything to do with them. I need to read and listen to more news.

At dinner, my favourite mala steamboat place, the manager, was an impressive person. Almost 50, and there he was gushing to me and my mum about the latest technology especially in handphones, touch screen, HTC, Diamond, iPhone, Samsung, Nokia…and all the lot, which model was better, how much they cost…IMPRESSIVE! I was lucky I have friends who are crazy about such stuff. The conversation was interesting and definitely informative.

Watching America’s Next Top Model…I suddenly know what is my own Birthday Gift going to be…!!! (more on that on another post)

Day 3, Friday

A blue friday, I spent my whole lunchtime (nearly an hour), eating my lunch very slowly….like really slowly….which I never did. I normally finish my lunch in 15 mins! Then I spent my whole lunchtime, at the same time I was munching my lunch, I was munching oggling at guys’ butts and paunches!!! There are so many sizes, shapes and styles! Hahah and yes, they are seductive! Hahah…i have weak spots for them…Yes, you get me right – guys’ butts and paunches!!! Beware, all of you who have them out there. Erica’s very dangerous…!!!! *ROAR*

Then I had an interesting conversation with an old friend on MSN whom have not even met or spoke or even MSN him in ages. He was like, paunches = seductive?! -_-” A good friend went to the movies with her friend, also an old friend. Later at night, I dreamt that THAT old friend, a guy, tried to hold her hands.

I watched 3 DVDs that night. All new releases and arty farty films – Love in the Time of Cholera (M18), Cashback (M18), Charlie Wilson’s War (NC16)…don’t ask me why the rating. Nice show, gives me a very deep insight into life, love and passion, yes, even Charlie Wilson’s War which is more of the world and war.

Now isn’t that colourful, just 3 days of my life….

My sis-in-law was on a winning streak for Chinese New Year and much credit was given to the unborn Amelia until Sunday when she start losing…we got a hunch that Amelia’s wanting to see the world soon! So that’s how the superstition way of saying it…but actually, here’s how the scientific way goes… In my previous post, I mentioned that I received a phone call from my brother, announcing the good news. I had a phone call too this afternoon. Here’s how the phone call goes:

I returned a miss call to my brother during lunch…
Alan: Where are you?
Me: At work lah, lunch, where else?
Alan: hehe…orh…ok lor
Me: Something not wrong, Junyi give birth already is it?!
Alan: Haha, now going in lor…
Me: Ok, sms me or call me when Amelia is out!
Alan: Ok…
Then followed by a few smses with my sis-in-law. At 2pm, her cervix has opened about 4cm. Then at 3.50pm…
Alan: Come out already!
Me: Huh? Really? So fast?!
Alan: Yah lor, this time very fast. “Blop” and the baby is out!
Me: Ok. I will go visit later today. (I then happily announce to the world that my 2nd niece has arrived on earth!)

Its always very happy for me to receive such happy news. I am literally another 大姑. Being a 大姑 literally means BIG aunt for me. I like the way my brother teases me for being the literally BIG aunt. Its fun. So long as the kiddos don’t follow that. 2 nieces! ah…time to play dress up! Yeah! It’s Chinese New Year…kinda Monday blues…but with this happy news, I bet I won’t have Monday blues for…well, at least a week!

I take this chance to introduce to the world my 1st niece, Alegria. See how she has grown! She’s kinda impish now but she is really cute and she has the strength of a “bull”! She’s about 18 months now and she can literally push a stack of 6 plastic chairs along and around the living room. ahahha. See how cute she is in this animated multi-shot of her.

• 5 years old: 1st best friend! His name is Jeffrey. I remembered we won’t go play see-saw without each other even though we have other friends in the group. He is my best “Vermicelli + Egg” kaki whenever our mothers bring us to steamboat. Till today, our mothers still laugh and nag about this – so not worth it to be eating only vermicelli and egg at steamboat! He is married now and sadly, we don’t even have each other’s numbers although our mothers are still in touch.
• 7 years old: 1st boy-friend! I remember him dearly, even till this day. His name is Shao Ling Sheng. We were very good friends. I even remembered he hugged and spinned round and round even though I was already very big-size then. He moved at Primary 2 and we lost contact since then. Sad…
• 8 years old: 1st leave home! I was being scolded for something (I can’t recall it now). In a fit of anger, I left home! To where? To my classmate’s house 2 floors down! hahaha..my mum definitely did not have a problem locating me.
• 9 years old: 1st operation! I love this operation! It was for my inflammed tonsil. It was so inflammed that I had to remove it. Why do I love it? In an attempt to bring down the temperature in my throat, I ate tubs of ice-cream every day! Hurray! But I was so scared that I will lose my voice forever when I cried out with no voice at all after the operation and I survived on drip for 2 weeks with no food!!!
• 9.5 years old: 1st house moving! I don’t recall much. The next thing I knew, we were in our new house at Teck Whye and I am going to a new school.
• 10 years old: 1st hair band! I insisted to have 1 although my hair was short. I remembered its Christmas and it’s those with lace and a little ribbon.
• 11 years old: 1st Dental Punishment! Who doesn’t hate primary school dental nurses?! It was recess and I was being punished for not brushing my teeth in the correct way. So there I was during recess, standing right in the middle of the common corridor where everyone will pass by on the way to the canteen, brushing my teeth!
• 11 years old: 1st love! Yes…that tall and big-build guy who came running in late during assembly. I had the longest crush ever on him. Read more about it here
• 15 years old: 1st wired bra! Hahah. This is hilarious! I asked my sitting partner in class if he noticed any difference in me that day! That difference between a normal cotton unwired bra vs the wired bra. Guess what was his answer? Yes, its a he!
• 14 years old:
  
  • 1st job! I was flipping waffles at Nagoya cakeshop in Teck Whye, part time of course. The boss happens to be my neighbour.
  • 1st Beer! I bought 2 cans of Heineken and drank them in my parents room and I called my best friend then and uttered a load of rubbish! It was funny the next day at school.
  • 1st cigeratte! I bet my best friend, “Mr Ng Ah-Boy”, still remembers this. We were at a chalet and we decided to try it out so we got ourselves a packet and started puffing away. Awesome! It was that only one time. No kick! Hahaha
• 17 years old: 1st truant! I am a great student and is an excellent leader in school who is never late and never play truant. But I did in my short 6 months of JC life. It was exhilarating! What can I say? We were only young once! hahaha
• 18 years old
  • 1st time! Yes, that’s when my 1st time gone…
  • 1st time staying alone! After my parent’s divorce when I was 16. I stayed with my mum. But due to the frequent quarrels and my then mum, I moved out and stayed alone, renting a room.
  • 1st weight loss! I lost 20 kg that year! Thanks to the frequent exercise my boyfriend and I had. It was basketball, gym and swimming almost 5x a week!
  • 1st 3 point! I never managed to shoot a 3 point at basketbal. I did that that year.
• 20 years old: 1st Role Model! I never did have a role model until I met Hans Chong, the boss of Tom & Stefanie. T&S is the place where I had a lot of memories and where I learnt alot and kickstarted my whole career. Hans once said to me that without me, he just doesn’t feel inspired! Even though we quarrelled, argued, etc. We also worked hard and strive for the business to be better. All thanks to him for the me in my career now. He is still my role model!
• 23 years old: 1st Business Venture! I started a design and events company, Cre-A’Zon Pte Ltd, with 3 other friends. The business was quite well until I took too big a risk with some projects and the company closed in end 2005. I was pretty badly affected by this. But life came around.
• 28 years old: 1st time listing my 1st times!

In my 26 years of life, I was always clear about who I wanted to be, not someone whom I should or can be. I led a powerful life, expressing myself freely, a great leader, great friend, great person! I live the life I wanted, despite being in an environment that did not provide me with agreement. But all that was lost when…

As I start to pen this post, I started to think, trying to remember. Remember dreams that I once dreamt of, remember passion that I once lived on, remember the fresh air that I once breathed, remember all the goodness of friends and of family…Hope this rendition of Try To Remember by Mike Strickland will spark off some rememberance in you too.

A dream of mine was to have a creative business. At the age of 23, I started a small events and design company, Cre-A’Zon Pte Ltd, with the support of 3 good friends. It was great! Things were sailing well for the initial 1.5 years. I worked hard and well. And then, I got too adventurous. I fell, terribly and hardly. For the last 6 months before I finally come to term with the fact that I have to let it go, I was running away from it all – from the situation, investors (who are mostly friends), suppliers, friends, family and myself. I hid. I was in depression. I did not want to go anywhere, talk to anyone or do anything. I wanted to die. I could not live with my failure and I have no courage to face the whole situation. I have no idea what I can, should or want to do.

Friends were very supportive. I am really thankful for the group of friends who were always there supporting me, pulling me through the most difficult times of my life. I discovered my faith in Christianity. I got back on my feet after much support from friends. But that was that. I was still running away, not facing the situation truthfully. For the 1st time in my life, I was being very inauthentic to myself and everyone else.

A meet up with a friend at his father’s funeral opened up a whole new world for me. The company which he’s with is hiring and he thought I may suit the position. I needed a job. He was kind enough to hook me up for an interview. I got the job and by mid Feb 06, I started work. At that moment, 6 months ago, I just wanted to get a job, work and then plan out the workability for my failed business and my debts. But the whole situation has took an unexpected turn.

I was to be an Associate Producer at Resonance, an emarketing firm. Without any emarketing experience, HTML or programming skills and with a highest academic qualification of GCE O Levels, my boss hired me. She hired me not knowing of my failed business. She hired me based on what she saw in me. When she communicated that to me, I told myself, this is where I should start all over again. I shall be Erica once again from this moment onwards. I did. I worked hard and learned hard. And in a couple of months, I found back zest and life.

I also started to get myself present to my failed business, communicating to partners, investors, suppliers, clients and friends. I realised when I did that, I have actually caused a lot of anxiety and hurt to these people when I failed to communicate with them exactly what had happened. I was really upset with myself for that and it really took me alot of courage to face up to everyone. I started to plan out my repayment plan for the debts. Although my company was a Pte Ltd but I know I won’t be able to live with myself if I just allow the company’s debts to suppliers, etc remain unpaid. Now, I am glad and proud to say that with kind understanding and support from suppliers and friends, I am steadily repaying the debts. It will take me about 5 years to clear off everything.

I used to be very disempowered and upset whenever I thought of only being able to clear off my debts in 5 years and the fact that I have to lead a very stringent life with only a couple of hundred dollars a month. I can say now, that, I am not. I am actually very happy right now, at my present stage.

Curious to find out why? Stay Tuned for “Finding Erica – Part II”

Minus a not-so-joyful event in the morning which I shall not mention here (contradicting my title), the rest of the day was simply filled with nothing by JOY! Even at the not-so-joyful event, I discovered joy…

This song so totally describes how I feel that very day! It just makes me wanna dance!!! Let me share this BundleSSS of Joy with you through this special piece of music by Baha Men, extracted from Shrek.

Joy 1: A good friend, after liking this guy for 2 years, have gotten together with him! Blissful start to a wonderful relationship. The faith and the “romance hardwork” definitely paid off. I was surely happy for her. Really am. To my friend who maybe reading this…enjoy every moment!!!!

Joy 2: I self invited myself to another very close friend, Peiying’s ROM dress fitting. To have some suspense here, I shall not feature the picture of her in a ROM dress. Instead, shall show you guys the picture of joy + bonus: LOVE! This pair of lovey dovey are a really handsome, sweet pair. I was simply enjoying myself while snapping away at them. Seeing them trying on their suit and gown, it really warms my heart and it was really nothing but joy….the process of them picking their ROM bouquet, down to the nitty gritty details.

Joy 3: After that, I decided to pop over to my kid brother, Alan’s place and pay a visit to my sister-in-law, Jinyi and my newborn niece, Alegria. Alan was still working but I popped by nonetheless. I had with me, for almost a week, the tonics that I bought for Jinyi. When I finally managed to give it to her, I was happy and much happier to see her in the pink of health! Alegria, with her newly found Chinese name – 绣恩, was happy too! Curiously looking around, listening to the people around her. I had great fun playing with her, carrying her. And simply amazed at life (wondering how exactly does the equation of an ovary + a sperm = life?). I wanted to head home shortly after Alan came home as I really can do with the extra time to rest but he refused to let me go and insist I stay and watch tv with him. That’s definitely another joy….

Count my blessings, man…I was a really joyous person that day. 3 good joyous occasions to call for!!! Can it get any better?